Ebb tide

Change: It happens.
Today was the new-old editorial board for journalism. Sitting across the way from where I used to was certainly...different.
But some things never change. I can still stare at the same person as before during meetings if I look straight ahead, I have a male and a female sitting on either side of me,I still draw a lot during ed board.
But still, the people sitting on either side of me are different from before, the food comes faster, I actually have to talk at every meeting and I can see my old spot from where I sit.
It's still kind of weird to call cartoonist my "old spot", because I haven't really grown out of it. I can't help but doodle during ed board and I almost wrote up a cartoon assignment sheet before I realized where I was sitting.
Changes to come will be big; I'll have to take leadership on a section, I have to take all responsibility for any mistakes or mishaps on my page(s), and I probably have to work more during late nights (just a hunch). These thoughts all culminated while I waited in the darkness of the room, and I freaked out a little.
I can admit right now that I am terrified for next year. All my AP's, my leadership positions, and now this new post had become very real to me. It was like life came down upon me and then ran me over with a bus.
As I thought more about my load for next year, however, the weight seemed to lessen and the pile of duties and obligations that I had seemed to grow smaller and smaller. This perpetual and recurring doubt that I had that I couldn't handle next year seemed to disappear, for good this time. I remembered the friends I had to back me up and the experiences I would have and all the new things I would learn and all the change just seemed more and more worthwhile.
I guess the reason change is so synonymous with tides is that tides will pull you in if you stand in the water, whether you want them to or not; once you're in the water you can only get out or swim. Today was an a small lap of water at my ankles, an omen to the massive change in store for next year, and whether I'm ready or not, the tide will eventually pull me in.
It all just depends on how ready I am to swim.