Already?

Time is relative.
It seems like just last week I was entering junior year with a mind full of optimistic goals and hopes for the outcomes of this year. I was still unsettled with this year's staff, and I was anticipating new episodes of Pushing Daisies and Life.
Now, I have none of those goals accomplished, I have been pushed into a whole new position with a news staff, I can now only anticipate two more episodes of Daisies, and my teacher has asked me to do personal statements.
Personal statements??? FUH.
It seems that college and senior year are throttling at me now with full force and little to no physical obstruction. I mean, I have a concert that I'm barely prepared for (supply-ily speaking, not musically), a SAT exam next week, banquets yet to eat at and summer classes yet to sign up for. I feel so naked (figuratively speaking) for the now.
I just hope that the future is kinder to me than I think it will be.

Ebb tide

Change: It happens.
Today was the new-old editorial board for journalism. Sitting across the way from where I used to was certainly...different.
But some things never change. I can still stare at the same person as before during meetings if I look straight ahead, I have a male and a female sitting on either side of me,I still draw a lot during ed board.
But still, the people sitting on either side of me are different from before, the food comes faster, I actually have to talk at every meeting and I can see my old spot from where I sit.
It's still kind of weird to call cartoonist my "old spot", because I haven't really grown out of it. I can't help but doodle during ed board and I almost wrote up a cartoon assignment sheet before I realized where I was sitting.
Changes to come will be big; I'll have to take leadership on a section, I have to take all responsibility for any mistakes or mishaps on my page(s), and I probably have to work more during late nights (just a hunch). These thoughts all culminated while I waited in the darkness of the room, and I freaked out a little.
I can admit right now that I am terrified for next year. All my AP's, my leadership positions, and now this new post had become very real to me. It was like life came down upon me and then ran me over with a bus.
As I thought more about my load for next year, however, the weight seemed to lessen and the pile of duties and obligations that I had seemed to grow smaller and smaller. This perpetual and recurring doubt that I had that I couldn't handle next year seemed to disappear, for good this time. I remembered the friends I had to back me up and the experiences I would have and all the new things I would learn and all the change just seemed more and more worthwhile.
I guess the reason change is so synonymous with tides is that tides will pull you in if you stand in the water, whether you want them to or not; once you're in the water you can only get out or swim. Today was an a small lap of water at my ankles, an omen to the massive change in store for next year, and whether I'm ready or not, the tide will eventually pull me in.
It all just depends on how ready I am to swim.

New'd

Life:A new one begins now.
As much as I try to, I can find not one true definition for life.
I do know that it begins and ends abruptly, that it is unpredictable, and that it has been emulated into a cheaply entertaining board game.
But as much as we try and grasp life, to try and figure out a shape it takes or a pattern it follows, it only manages to wind up more and throw us off in ways not possible to predict.
But life is not one unpredictable course; we can live many lives in our one lifetime. Each of these lives can last for any amount of time, but I think that they are all guided by a single principle established before each has begun.
Each life, ruled by a single concept, by an idea, by an inspiration, by a passion, has the potential to last the rest of your lifetime, but only those true passions and principles will last true and strong until the end.
Today, guided by the single need to write, I begin a life.
I don't know where this life will take me, how long it will last, or if I will even update it consistently; one thing, however, is certain, and that is that this life will attempt to make sense of it all.
For today, I begin anew.